People tell me I ain’t no good

Well maybe theys right. Been thinking a lot lately. It’s probably why I haven’t called or written much in the last few. Been trying to overcome a few bad habits and have been having a bit of trouble the past couple days after thinking I had them beat. You know how that is? When you realize this something that has become a part of your life is VERY WRONG and you need to quit? Then you try and try but the chains drag you back? reminds me of the scene in Three Amigos where Steve Martin’s character is tied to the wall. Every time he gets close to his goal an arm or two snaps back and before he knows it, he’s slammed back against the wall only to start from scratch again. You know but he did get free in the end and I think if I keep trying I will too.

well anyways. Made it my mission to get to church today. Didn’t work out. Made it my mission to pay tithing. Didn’t work out. Made it my mission to fast today. I’m here so I guess that didn’t work out. I should be out praying and reading scripture but here I am online falling again and though I still haven’t eaten or had anything to drink I still fell so is it still worth it to continue the fast?

I think what I’ll do is pay tithing the next week I go to church (next week is General Conference). and I think as long as I can stay away from the pron from here on out I’ll be good. I think I’ll leave you now to go read some scriptures, say a prayer of repentence, and go pick my wife up. She’s out stuffing envelopes for the Democratic party. Yeah. On a Sunday. that’s something else I’ll have to work on. No Sports on Sunday, no working on Sunday, keeping God the focus on Sunday.

Well…I’m off to try again reaching my goal. Wish me luck!

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Things learned, views changed, priorities reorganized

This weekend was an eye opening one. Didn’t go out and do much. We saw Napoleon Dynamite Friday night. Friday has become “OUR” night. It will be a night for us each week to spend alone having a good time. I have realized lately I’ve let life make me too serious. I’ve lost that child I had inside. The same child I vowed would never disappear. Victoria and I started as best friends. Somehow that got lost. She said these words to me during an argument we had a couple Fridays ago on the way to a date with friends: “What happened to the husband I married? The husband that I could laugh with and joke with and have fun with?” That really hit home for me. It didn’t really change how I acted the next two weeks but this weekend while we sat down for dinner Sunday night and talked I realized that I have to quit talking and we have to start DOING.

So we’ve decided to do the following:

1. Prayers need to be more frequent. Ideally we should pray morning and night as well as at meals and before and after scripture study sessions. Also before long travels and other times as appropriate. Starting at least with morning, night and dinner is good and we’ll add on from there.

2. We want to read a scripture and discuss it during dinner. Also we need to find time in the morning or night for individual scripture study and maybe studies as a couple. We have a good Eternal Marriage guide that we want to go through.

3. We should try to make it to church each Sunday for Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School. That means going to bed a bit earlier Saturday night so we get up early for church instead of sleeping in. Adding to that we should increasingly try to keep the Sabbath Day holy by cutting out video games and TV and spend the time with family, reading, sleeping, NOT WORKING. The day should be dedicated to the Lord and not our own wants and desires.

4. We want to cut out Fast Food and fatty foods and drinks and start eating right. Along with that at least 5 times a week we want to go exercise. Whether that’s playing ball, in the gym, taking a walk or whatever. We need to get out and do something every day.

5. I need to initiate spending time with her. Whenever we spend time together she has to be the instigator. I need to pull away from my sports and video games and whatever to try iniating time together. Even if it’s just watching TV together.

6. We need to share in the chores and be more diligent in keeping the apartment clean. I can’t count the number of times a month our apartment gets to the point where it’s almost unlivable. I haven’t vacuumed in a while and the furniture has so much dust I feel I can almost take a knive to the table and not scratch the wood. Well it’s not that bad but it needs to get done. So we’ll set a routine schedule and when something looks out of place we need to put it in it’s place.

These things may not all happen right away but we should always be trying to do them. Sure we’ll forget from time to time but if we just quit…nothing good comes of it, and I’m positive nothing bad could ever come from doing these things. So we decided on these things.

If you notice…my language is a bit better. THat’s something else I’ve been working on. Foul language is unbecoming a mormon. People know I’m LDS and they look to me to set a certain example. If I fail to live up to this it reflects poorly on me and the church. People think, well he’s just like me. His convictions aren’t that great and so…neither is the church. Well I’m working everyday to improve myself because my convictions ARE great and so, I believe, is this church. We’re a peculiar people. It’s time I begin acting like it.

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